Wednesday, January 23, 2008

#1 Adoption FAQ

Why do you want to adopt?

We have gotten this question quite a bit. I think half want to know how God brought us to that point and the other half wonder why in the world we would ever decide to do that when we can have "perfectly good children of our own". Well, let me start at the beginning. I have always had a desire to adopt. Even when I was a small child I remember crying about orphans and thinking that someday I would adopt. About 6 months after Phil and I got married, we stopped using our normal preventative methods of birth control because of some problems I was having. We weren't necessarily desiring to get pregnant at that time, so when the time began to stretch on and we weren't getting pregnant, we were O K with it. After a while though, we knew something must be wrong. After a year and a half I decided to go to my doctor to talk about it. I tried several rounds of drugs and they just made me too sick. I took a break from them hoping we would conceive on our own. Then, I tried the drugs for a few months again. Nothing was happening. Honestly, I was at peace with it because my desire to adopt was so strong. I just thought, well I guess this is why God always placed that within me, because I can't have biological children. On the last month, just before doing a load of fertility tests, on a triple dose of medication, God began to knit Gibson together in my womb. It had been 2 1/2 years. We were completely surprised and overjoyed. I still thought about adoption, but obviously it was placed on the back burner. After having Gibson the doctors thought it was clear that if I ever wanted to conceive again I would have to do the same round of drugs. Ugh. Well, God had other plans. When Gibson was about 7 1/2 months old...we got pregnant with Maya completely naturally. We were excited, and a bit overwhelmed honestly. I was consumed with caring for a baby and being sick and pregnant again. We have been blessed with two beautiful, healthy children, but that desire was still there on the back burner where I had left it. Maya was only a few months old when it began to get stronger and stronger. I talked to Phil about it, and he wasn't overly excited about adoption but also not opposed. Just before Christmas 2006, our house church participated in a local Christmas party for foster children. It was a powerful experience for Phil. After that party, he told me he could see why I had always wanted to do it and was interested...but maybe in 5 years or so. That made me cringe inside! I felt like my desire was only growing, but I knew we both had to be on board for this. Of all things I certainly would never want to jump ahead of him on this. I was getting so excited and I wanted him to feel the same way I did. I didn't want to push my way on him, so I talked about it very little and began doing some research. I looked into agencies and different countries. We talked more about it and I prayed about it constantly, fervently. Last summer he went to a conference in Texas. It was a conference for worship leaders but we believe God also took him there for other reasons. On about the second night he was there he called me and told me the whole focus of the conference was taking care of orphans and widows. I got chills. A few nights later he called me and told me he was ready and that he knew this is what God wanted for our family! When I hung up the phone I just put my face into the couch and cried and cried, thanking and praising God. We are overjoyed to begin this journey and we can't wait! There is a child out there, who may not have even been conceived yet, who will one day be a part of our family. We can't wait to meet them!

*next I will answer, "Why Africa?".

4 comments:

Stacie said...

Amber,

Thanks for sharing this very personal journey with us! I too have always had a heart for adoption and am so excited for you guys!

Jenny said...

Amber,
We are so excited for you guys to begin the adoption process. It is truly one of the most amazing journeys. SO happy to see others stepping out to meet the needs of the fatherless.
Praying for your family,
Jenny and fam

emma Williams said...

thank you so much for sharing this amber. i have always behind this. im so excited for you guys.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

I clicked over here from Roses are Red. What an awesome testimony! I think the Ethiopian babies are just so gorgeous. I know that alone is no reason to go get one, but it is just an added bonus :)

We intend to adopt later - probably from CPS. I was adopted and I so love adoption.

:) Missy